


Help Me or Don't

by Blue_Primadonna, TheSleepyDuelist



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter, M/M, Multi, Peter-centric, Protective Tony Stark, Protective Wade Wilson, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-05 23:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15181586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Primadonna/pseuds/Blue_Primadonna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSleepyDuelist/pseuds/TheSleepyDuelist
Summary: 'My name is Peter Benjamin Parker. The world is a terrifying and unfair place. That's why I'm getting out of it.'





	1. 1-800-273-2855

**Author's Note:**

> Suicide mentions/Attempts, Cutting, PTSD mentions along with the deadpool-esque violence. Infinity war spoilers.

He was tired of this.

He was  _beyond_ tired.

Peter Benjamin Parker, also known as Spider-Man, was tired of waking up  in the morning to an empty life. Being Spider-Man filled him with purpose, but it didn't give his life meaning. He was tired of looking at the red angry scars on his wrist, tired of aunt May looking at him when he leaves for school with a face that asked him if he was going to come home, and he was tired of coming home an empty shell of who he was.

Another thing he had grown tired of - the faces of teachers and friends, especially Ned, who knew that he died trying to save the rest of the universe.

He hated dying. It was easily one of the worst things he had ever been though, and he didn't even remember all of it. He remembered the migraine he got just before it happened, his spidey sense telling him something  was wrong. He remembered the searing pain that flooded through his body, holding on to Tony like that would save him. And he remembered sitting in his subconscious until everything was okay, wondering if he was going to see everyone he loved ever again.

Lately, it seemed that everything got harder. Getting up in the mornings got hard, going to school got hard, going out and protecting the streets as Spider-Man got hard. Peter didn't want to socialize with people, he figured you usually don't when you'd much rather take a swan dive off a building.

One day he was feeling particularly horrible, and decided to tell Aunt May. Aunt May knew that he acted different since his return from space, he ate less, doubted almost everything he did, and was more isolated  than usual. Knowing that, she took him to the doctors at Stark towers as soon as possible. 

They diagnosed him with Major Depression Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Insomnia. In other words, he was a bigger mess than he thought. 

"Peter, you know that you're important and I love you, right?" Aunt May asked him when they got home.

"Of course." He answered dryly.

"You know that..dying isn't your only option, right?"

"Of course Aunt May."

With that, she kissed him on the cheek and left for work.

He took the night off that day, and sat in his room, he sat there, rethinking his life and his choices. His mind got the best of him, taking him to parts of his life he buried deep in smart quips and fake smiles.

The pressure was getting to him. He didn’t want to remember his mistakes or his pain. He needed a distraction from the war in his head.

He called the number, the one he’d memorized since his fight with Vulture. 

_1-800-273-8255_

He didn’t even hear the phone ring before someone answered.

”Hello, this is the suicide lifeline.” The voice on the receiver said. It was soothing, yet confident. Whoever they were, they eased Peter’s nerves easily.

”H-hello? My name is Peter.” He tripped over his words. He often did when he had to talk about his feelings.

"Hi Peter, what can I help you with?"

"I.." He couldn't do this. If he could barely talk about the weather with Aunt May, what made him think he could tell a stranger that he was suicidal?

He hung up before he could embarrass himself even more, put his phone on s from worilent and laid on his bed. Sometimes, he just wanted to take a swan dive off a building. He thought about it more than any okay person should, but since when was he okay? It probably the prolonged time he spent on top of roof tops, but something told him that it was the best way to go. What was holding him back from dying anyway? 

Maybe it was time for him to go anyway, maybe The Snap was just an omen. The streets were relatively clean with the mercenary known as Deadpool walking around, even if he was a bit dangerous himself. Mr. Stark could probably keep him in check in the worst possible scenario. He already has a note from when he got back to earth, Aunt may was gone he could sneak up on the roof and end the pain.

That's what he was going to do. He was going to end his madness for once and all - the voices in his head and the worthlessness he felt were all going to go away. The first thing he did was find the note, which was hidden underneath his pillow so it was kept close.

_By the time you find this, I'm already gone. I'm sorry to leave you all like this, but I can't do this anymore, I can't **live**  anymore. I want Ned to have all my things, Aunt May gets all my money. Please give my suit back to Mr. Stark or put it in a museum if you think I'm good enough for whatever reason._

_I'm sorry._

Short and bittersweet: the less pain the better. He put the note on his desk, an easy place to find for Aunt May when she came back from work.

Now came the hard part. Sneaking out. He opened his window and quietly moved onto the roof, every step heavy with the knowledge that this would be his final venture up there. Usually, he would be more careful about his steps, but if they were his last then did it really matter? Once he got to the top of the roof, he looked out at Queens' night life. It was the only thing that always stayed beautiful to him, no matter what was happening in the streets. One of the reasons he wanted to jump with a direct view of his city was so he could see it one more time before he was gone, have the image of something beautiful in his mind whilst his body went through the air.

With a glance as his final goodbye, he got ready to jump. He climbed on top of the railing, took a deep breath and closed his eyes.


	2. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool spots a teen on a roof. He prays that he's just enjoying the view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of keeping Deadpool single, we'll say that Vanessa is still gone. Mentions of suicide,cutting and the usual Deadpool violence.  
> Also, thank you for all the support! It means the world to me.

Wade was having a normal day.

_/Since when was your life normal?/_

_[Well, a normal day for him.]_

He had less jobs since the whole Thanos business, guess more people were gaining good consciences. When he didn't have a job, he would patrol around in hopes for meeting his second superhero. Spider-Man was one of his favorite people to talk to, he was a millennial with a dark sense of humor that Wade could get into. Of course, with millennial humor, you can never really tell between the truth and the lies.

Wade liked to think he was a pretty good lie detector, usually being able to sense fake pleas of the scum he was paid to hunt. With spidey however, the things he said were more than often a concoction of lies and truth, and to be honest that scared him a little bit.

_/And we're not scared of anything/_

_[Except for clowns and the nineties.]_

Either way, he hasn't seen the web shooter for a bit and that was usually never good. He went looking for the Spider-Man himself after a fulfilling day of murder and Mexican food. His search was proving to unsuccessful when about 10:00, he saw a figure on a rooftop. The figure was a little to close to the edge of the building, simply standing there, like they were going to jump.  He prayed that were just enjoying the view.  

He figured his search could stop to save a life instead of ending one. He made his way up the six story apartment building relatively quickly, only taking his eyes off the figure when he had to make sure he didn't hit any windows on the way up. Once he finally got up there, the figure was sitting on the edge, letting his legs dangle. He was pretty, almost offensively beautiful if it wasn't so obvious how broken he was.

Wade took a seat next to the boy, who looked about in his late teens or early twenties. He had brown hair, a warm chocolate colour. He didn't flinch or look at Wade when he sat down, so he either already sensed his presence or was too broken to care.

"You okay?' He asked, fully knowing what the answer was. Wade wasn't the best at talking to people, especially when their life hangs in the balance of the words he says.

"Peachy." He said. It was bitter and sarcastic, an obvious lie. The teen looked down at the city lights beneath them, reflecting in his eyes like stars would.

"What's your name?"

"Peter." 

"..Why haven't you jumped?"

Once he said that, Peter looked up at him. his eyes were a similar brown to his hair but darker, little flecks of gold here and there.  He wasn't getting enough sleep either, the bags under his eyes could be designer. Those pretty eyes were decorated with fear and trauma, but also a tiredness for life. Peter was wearing a a broken smile, not one to hide the fear but because he was too far gone to frown.

"Do you want me to?"

"No, god no of course not. It's just..you must have something holding you back."

"Probably the guilt. The people I love have already suffered so much, i can't hurt them anymore than I have," 

"Well, the people you love are things to live for, right?"

"Yeah..I guess." He shrugged absentmindedly.

This was good. Peter was too busy thinking about reasons to live to think about jumping.  Not jumping was good.

Wade noticed that Peter almost never looked at him. He either looked down at the flashing city lights or up at the starry heavens up above.

"I miss being a kid...My life was never perfect but I wasn't so fucked up then."

"Well, adulthood is always fucked up..you're an adult, right?"

"Nineteen. So, yeah."

They sat in silence for a bit, just looking up at the stars. Each one had it's own story, glistening on though probably dead millions of light years away.

_/Look at mister poet over here! What is this, Hamlet?/or_

_[We're trying to save a life here, take it seriously!]_

After awhile the silence got uncomfortable, forced and meaningless instead of  free-flowing and thoughtful. Wade didn't know what to say, which was unorthodox for him because he could throw knives and quips easily most of the time, but all of a sudden he was speechless.

 It took him a few moments to figure out what to say. "Look..Peter, you can tell that this isn't in my skill set. I don't think you want to jump either. How about we get you off this roof and do something fun?"

Peter looked up at him, those molten chocolate eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and hope that he seemed to be a little too comfortable showing. He signed and gave Wade a little smile that made his heart flutter. "Sure, why not? Anywhere you're trying to go?"

 "Well I found this lovely little café a few blocks away, if you're up for a walk.' Wade replied and got up from his spot on the roof holding out his hand with a flourish for Peter to take.

Smiling and rolling his eyes at the melodramatics, Peter took his hand so Wade could pull him off the roof and down the fire escape. Wade refused to let go of his hand, afraid that at any point Peter could leave and do something unthinkable.

 

_/Stop getting so attached, it’s not like you’re friends or something./_

 

_[We haven’t had some this close since Vanessa died, let him have this.]_

 

Deciding to ignore White and Yellow for now, Wade focused on getting them to the café. Wade didn’t really like cafés as they were too mellow for him, but even he was smart enough to know that taking the poor boy to a sleazy bar in the even worse part of town probably wasn't the best idea.

 

Eventually after some twists and turns and a little bit of recalculating, they made it to the café. It was a quaint, little building with a rustic

almost french style. Open brick faded into a pink colour and fairy lights hanging on an outdoor patio.

 

Wade smiled underneath his mask as he lead the smaller boy into the restaurant. A few people looked at them but who wouldn't stare at a well-known mercenary and a boy who looked like he was a few bad sentences from a mental breakdown.

 

_/To be honest, he probably is./_

_[Hush, and listen to the damn story. The author works hard you know.]_

 

He decided not to dwell too much on the voices in head and whatever they were arguing on, and led Peter to a booth in the back were they wouldn't be interupted.

 

A light tune played throughout the restaurant, the song was something french he didn't know the name of, but Peter probably did considering he was singing it under his breath.

 

" _donnez-moi votre coeur et votre âme, et l'amour sera toujours_.." He stopped himself before finishing the tune, looking up at Wade with those obnoxiously pretty eyes. "Sorry, got a bit caught up there.."

 

"Oh it's fine, you sound pretty good.. are you professional?" Wade asked, using the chance to prop his head on his hand and stare at Peter, wriggling his eyebrows underneath his mask.

 

"God no, I'd choke and die on a stage." Peter responded with a little chuckle that lightened up the room.

 

They continued like that, talking about just about anything. Mostly staying on the topic of Peter's hopes and dreams, things he liked and didn't like. In the span of an hour, Wade learned that Peter is an aspiring photographer and did parkour, he loves chemistry and physics and had ADHD. Unfortunately, the hour went too quickly and Peter felt he had to leave. Wade paid for them (like a true gentleman) and he even got to walk Peter home after. He memorized what the apartment building looked like, just in case he might have to do a quick check up in the future.

 

With a quick wave and a smile that could light up the whole world, he was gone.

/Don't sound so disappointed. Makes us sound like pansies/

 

Whatever. Wade turned back and walked to Weasel's, wondering if a guy like Peter would have someone at home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brownie points to whoever guesses what Peter's singing correctly!


End file.
